My dear Chinese entourage. This is how to pack a parcel. Look at him go! He had his own custom folding techniques and a sellotape dispensing utility belt. More expensive than your average Chinaman, but boy was he worth it.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Viet-Gone to Bang Kok
End of the road for Vietnam happened on schedule on 23rd and Debs and I have found ourselves in backpacker's paradise in the Gulf of Thailand. The rough has come with the smooth but it's been emotional. Long time since last we spoke so much to catch up on. I've posted some photos to assist: Ph'otos
I'm starting to lose track of everything that's happened. Here's a list of some of it:
Stayed in Hoi'An for 4 nights. Met loads of nice people. Much drinking. Much suffering. More drinking. Tailor made clothes (lot's of, very cheap!) Ho Chi Minh. Crap hotel, good food (couldn't eat the cow's penis and scrotum). Massage from a blind man. Hmmm. War remnants museum - best left out of the blog lest I offend the American audience (some very bad behavior). Palace or two, a number of temples/ pagodas. Cu Chi tunnels. My god they lived in those on and off for a couple of years! Couldn't shoot the AK47 after my conscience gave me a good bollocking but it was strapped to the sandbags anyway and cost more than they advertised.
Ok then plane to Bangkok which smells and is full of tourists and con artists. Debs and I made a simple request to go to a strip club and watch women perform unspeakable acts with various (inanimate!) objects (it's a tourist thing) and those immoral tuk tuk drivers took us first to the middle of nowhere to report to a bouncer we couldn't fit past to get through the door, and then to a street full of gay bars where our the driver explained that everything was closed due to a Buddhist festival and that if I hung around here for too long I would feel the wrong end of a ladyboy! Needless to say we told him to shove his crap advice along with his tuk tuk where the sun don't shine and hot tailed it to an Irish bar where we were given proper directions to the best venue on foot.
That won't be happening again. The show was only mildly controversial although the performing lady did manage to shoot a banana right across the room, skimming it across two tables to land in Debbie's lap which I was extremely impressed by. A triumph for womankind, surely if they can do they they must deserve equal pay! We've had good food and massages galor since that eventful night but nothing that would sound impressive when retold so I'll leave it at that. Actually, come to think of it, I did palate a number of fried cockroaches, crickets and larvae much to the admiration of several onlooking tourists none of whome would take the plunge when offered.
20 hours ago or so we were on a train from Bangkok which turned into a coach at 3am and then a boat finally delivering us to the shores of Ko-Tao this morning. Booked into a PADI course beginning tomorrow with an instructor called Fri (pronounced Free) who left Torquay 12 years ago and never went back. I'm starting to feel that way. Should be great. I'm off to bed.
Oh, I got selected for the first round for a scholarship at UCL (Whoopah!) for which I have to write a personal statement by next Monday stating my likely future innovations and contributions to the field of Architecture. What holiday fun! But it's worth an awful lot of money so wish me luck! Bye now
And here are Debbie's photos: Debbie
Good news everyone! I found a way to allow people to post comments without being a member. Even people I've never spoken to before! Of course this means I'll get a fair bit of heckling from stangers but that's to be expected. My thanks in advance to those people.
I'm starting to lose track of everything that's happened. Here's a list of some of it:
Stayed in Hoi'An for 4 nights. Met loads of nice people. Much drinking. Much suffering. More drinking. Tailor made clothes (lot's of, very cheap!) Ho Chi Minh. Crap hotel, good food (couldn't eat the cow's penis and scrotum). Massage from a blind man. Hmmm. War remnants museum - best left out of the blog lest I offend the American audience (some very bad behavior). Palace or two, a number of temples/ pagodas. Cu Chi tunnels. My god they lived in those on and off for a couple of years! Couldn't shoot the AK47 after my conscience gave me a good bollocking but it was strapped to the sandbags anyway and cost more than they advertised.
Ok then plane to Bangkok which smells and is full of tourists and con artists. Debs and I made a simple request to go to a strip club and watch women perform unspeakable acts with various (inanimate!) objects (it's a tourist thing) and those immoral tuk tuk drivers took us first to the middle of nowhere to report to a bouncer we couldn't fit past to get through the door, and then to a street full of gay bars where our the driver explained that everything was closed due to a Buddhist festival and that if I hung around here for too long I would feel the wrong end of a ladyboy! Needless to say we told him to shove his crap advice along with his tuk tuk where the sun don't shine and hot tailed it to an Irish bar where we were given proper directions to the best venue on foot.
That won't be happening again. The show was only mildly controversial although the performing lady did manage to shoot a banana right across the room, skimming it across two tables to land in Debbie's lap which I was extremely impressed by. A triumph for womankind, surely if they can do they they must deserve equal pay! We've had good food and massages galor since that eventful night but nothing that would sound impressive when retold so I'll leave it at that. Actually, come to think of it, I did palate a number of fried cockroaches, crickets and larvae much to the admiration of several onlooking tourists none of whome would take the plunge when offered.
20 hours ago or so we were on a train from Bangkok which turned into a coach at 3am and then a boat finally delivering us to the shores of Ko-Tao this morning. Booked into a PADI course beginning tomorrow with an instructor called Fri (pronounced Free) who left Torquay 12 years ago and never went back. I'm starting to feel that way. Should be great. I'm off to bed.
Oh, I got selected for the first round for a scholarship at UCL (Whoopah!) for which I have to write a personal statement by next Monday stating my likely future innovations and contributions to the field of Architecture. What holiday fun! But it's worth an awful lot of money so wish me luck! Bye now
And here are Debbie's photos: Debbie
Good news everyone! I found a way to allow people to post comments without being a member. Even people I've never spoken to before! Of course this means I'll get a fair bit of heckling from stangers but that's to be expected. My thanks in advance to those people.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Wetter than it looks in the movies!
Well Vietnam is turning out to be a bit of a wet blanket. It rains here like I've never seen before. Debs and I booked a trip along the Perfume river in Hue yesterday to go and visit a bunch of temples and pagodas along the way. One of these happened to be Thien Mu where the monks all self-immolated themselves in the 60s but that was perhaps the only interesting thing about any of them. They haven't really got the money over here to look after things so all the attractions are falling down or have already.
It rained so hard all day that we could barely see each other let alone anything else (it was that bad that we both bought kaguls but still got wet and I broke my second umbrella of the holiday). There was one really exciting moment when we had to get on the back of motorbike taxis and scramble along dirt tracks for a few kilometres to get from the boat to one of the temples. There was about a metre of mud on the track and we were slipping and sliding everywhere along it. I actually couldn't believe the woman driving me managed to keep us up! Oh and we thought one of the temples was haunted due to unexplained noises and saw the biggest snake I've come across yet. Unfortunately Farmer Tang wasn't there this time to beat it into a frenzy but it was mildly exciting none the less.
The last couple of days before that were spent in Hanoi capital and then on a boat out to Halong Bay where we went round a cave called the 'A-MAZING' or 'SU-PRISING' cave. The only thing that really interested anyone was the most falic shaped rock I have ever seen. Really, I'll show a photo on the next blog. Our guides Do-In and Be-In were great, the former just there for Debs and I because we wanted to do the special activities. He took us to a floating fish farm where we drank some disgusting tea and some rather better sticky rice spirit that his wife brewed up. The local fella wanted us to stay for lunch and smoke his bong, but we already had a disgusting meal booked in on the boat as part of the tour so we had to decline.
Not much else to report other than I cooked myself lying on deck the other day (even though we never saw the sun) and have been wincing every time I've picked up my bag since. We're currently in Hoi'An having arrived on a coach this avo and are staying in perhaps the nicest hotel I have ever set foot in and had to pay myself. The cherry on the top is that it's costing us about 8 pounds each! So 2 nights here and then off to Ho Chi Mihn where we plan to visit VietCong tunnels and fire off big guns. Will let you know how it all goes. As long as the sun comes out soon I'll be as happy as Larry. Otherwise we'll ditch this bog and get off to Thailand ASAP to get our PADIs!
It rained so hard all day that we could barely see each other let alone anything else (it was that bad that we both bought kaguls but still got wet and I broke my second umbrella of the holiday). There was one really exciting moment when we had to get on the back of motorbike taxis and scramble along dirt tracks for a few kilometres to get from the boat to one of the temples. There was about a metre of mud on the track and we were slipping and sliding everywhere along it. I actually couldn't believe the woman driving me managed to keep us up! Oh and we thought one of the temples was haunted due to unexplained noises and saw the biggest snake I've come across yet. Unfortunately Farmer Tang wasn't there this time to beat it into a frenzy but it was mildly exciting none the less.
The last couple of days before that were spent in Hanoi capital and then on a boat out to Halong Bay where we went round a cave called the 'A-MAZING' or 'SU-PRISING' cave. The only thing that really interested anyone was the most falic shaped rock I have ever seen. Really, I'll show a photo on the next blog. Our guides Do-In and Be-In were great, the former just there for Debs and I because we wanted to do the special activities. He took us to a floating fish farm where we drank some disgusting tea and some rather better sticky rice spirit that his wife brewed up. The local fella wanted us to stay for lunch and smoke his bong, but we already had a disgusting meal booked in on the boat as part of the tour so we had to decline.
Not much else to report other than I cooked myself lying on deck the other day (even though we never saw the sun) and have been wincing every time I've picked up my bag since. We're currently in Hoi'An having arrived on a coach this avo and are staying in perhaps the nicest hotel I have ever set foot in and had to pay myself. The cherry on the top is that it's costing us about 8 pounds each! So 2 nights here and then off to Ho Chi Mihn where we plan to visit VietCong tunnels and fire off big guns. Will let you know how it all goes. As long as the sun comes out soon I'll be as happy as Larry. Otherwise we'll ditch this bog and get off to Thailand ASAP to get our PADIs!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Fun time photos
Guffaw!
Hairy crabs anyone?
He's stronger than he looks!
Got one! Quick take the photo
No you're alright. He's gay
Bollocks, it was a bluff! He's buggered off with all the girls!
Goodbye China! Bonjour Vietnam!
Alone at last. Hmmm, what am I going to do now?
Well we arrived in Hong Kong, or rather Kowloon to be slightly more accurate on Tuesday afternoon. I'm terribly embarrassed to say that my vow never to drop the deuce on a Chinese sleeper train was broken and I had to go drop the kids off on the track. The food has finally taken its toll on my whimpering bowels and I've ben suffering somewhat in Hong Kong. Still, onwards and upwards!
Tuesday night the group went out for a last supper followed by a night on the town. There was great fanfare with present giving and merrymaking. I personally received a pair of white gloves, some ankle length tights, a sun visor, a wooden snake, a clothes drying rack, a ping pong ball, and some vacuum packed pickled chicken's feet. Oh, and bottle of Bi Jiao (local drinking petrol) all from my wonderful intrepid leader, Erin. The Bi Jiao went down in two glugs, but didn't sit too happily on top of the Mongolian vodka I had lined my stomach with for the evening. The upshot of it all was that I was shit faced enough to speak my mind for the majority of the night (sorry again Andy) and there was some wailing and gnashing of teeth as the evening progressed.
Needless to say the following day was uneventful. I did see the most beautiful building in the world (HSBC) and took a ride on a boat but since there was a bit of a problem with a typhoon jobby we got wet wherever we went and were all fairly miserable.
.....
Sorry for the pause. All of a sudden I realised I had to get on a plane and go to a different country. Well I'd better finish of my account of Hong Kong before I move on to Vietnam. Not much to say actually other than everyone drifted off one by one and then there were none! The Cambridge Massive didn't turn up to a very important meeting at which we were to see the Hong Kong light show and I was going to bestow on them a gift of one dried scallop each for being reasonably nice people! Ah well, I hope you all had as good a time as I did and that nothing I have written on this sight makes you believe that I didn't really enjoy meeting you all!
That said I must give a shout out to the Hose Head and our two groupies, partly because I said I would and partly to thank them for making my life for the past four weeks better than it was before. I hope by now you know how highly I think of you guys! Apologies for the misspelling of Toque, Hose Face but it's my blog so take off eh! Once left on my Tod sadness prevailed for some time. Although I actually saw more of the city without all the distractions, the fact that my room was too small for me to actually lie down straight started to irritate me more than it had done before for some reason and the lack of window bothered me somewhat also. I think I just missed everyone.
Well that's all done now and I'm in Hanoi with Debs.It was damn wet yesterday and today it's damn hot. Good news is they seem to have more crazy sh*t on the menu here than they had in most of China and they even have a dog restaurant area. Snake wine is everywhere - I've been avoiding it like the plague with my Delhi belly but Paul, you can look forward to some of this muck when I get back! Any more orders?
We saw Ho Chi Min's dead body this morning. Twice actually because we couldn't understand their camera confiscating system and had to go back round. That was weird to say the least, but nothing a few expensive bevvies wouldn't fix (Bia Hanoi at 4,000dong a pop is the delightful local tipple) (it's 30,000dong to the pound so you do the maths).
Last thing - Debs has a blog: debdeb.blogspot.com
It's not as good as mine but it's a start!
Oh, and what's happened to the comments? The good start has fizzled out and I'm feeling unloved. Big Mumma keep em coming, and I am washing my hands, don't you worry!
Well we arrived in Hong Kong, or rather Kowloon to be slightly more accurate on Tuesday afternoon. I'm terribly embarrassed to say that my vow never to drop the deuce on a Chinese sleeper train was broken and I had to go drop the kids off on the track. The food has finally taken its toll on my whimpering bowels and I've ben suffering somewhat in Hong Kong. Still, onwards and upwards!
Tuesday night the group went out for a last supper followed by a night on the town. There was great fanfare with present giving and merrymaking. I personally received a pair of white gloves, some ankle length tights, a sun visor, a wooden snake, a clothes drying rack, a ping pong ball, and some vacuum packed pickled chicken's feet. Oh, and bottle of Bi Jiao (local drinking petrol) all from my wonderful intrepid leader, Erin. The Bi Jiao went down in two glugs, but didn't sit too happily on top of the Mongolian vodka I had lined my stomach with for the evening. The upshot of it all was that I was shit faced enough to speak my mind for the majority of the night (sorry again Andy) and there was some wailing and gnashing of teeth as the evening progressed.
Needless to say the following day was uneventful. I did see the most beautiful building in the world (HSBC) and took a ride on a boat but since there was a bit of a problem with a typhoon jobby we got wet wherever we went and were all fairly miserable.
.....
Sorry for the pause. All of a sudden I realised I had to get on a plane and go to a different country. Well I'd better finish of my account of Hong Kong before I move on to Vietnam. Not much to say actually other than everyone drifted off one by one and then there were none! The Cambridge Massive didn't turn up to a very important meeting at which we were to see the Hong Kong light show and I was going to bestow on them a gift of one dried scallop each for being reasonably nice people! Ah well, I hope you all had as good a time as I did and that nothing I have written on this sight makes you believe that I didn't really enjoy meeting you all!
That said I must give a shout out to the Hose Head and our two groupies, partly because I said I would and partly to thank them for making my life for the past four weeks better than it was before. I hope by now you know how highly I think of you guys! Apologies for the misspelling of Toque, Hose Face but it's my blog so take off eh! Once left on my Tod sadness prevailed for some time. Although I actually saw more of the city without all the distractions, the fact that my room was too small for me to actually lie down straight started to irritate me more than it had done before for some reason and the lack of window bothered me somewhat also. I think I just missed everyone.
Well that's all done now and I'm in Hanoi with Debs.It was damn wet yesterday and today it's damn hot. Good news is they seem to have more crazy sh*t on the menu here than they had in most of China and they even have a dog restaurant area. Snake wine is everywhere - I've been avoiding it like the plague with my Delhi belly but Paul, you can look forward to some of this muck when I get back! Any more orders?
We saw Ho Chi Min's dead body this morning. Twice actually because we couldn't understand their camera confiscating system and had to go back round. That was weird to say the least, but nothing a few expensive bevvies wouldn't fix (Bia Hanoi at 4,000dong a pop is the delightful local tipple) (it's 30,000dong to the pound so you do the maths).
Last thing - Debs has a blog: debdeb.blogspot.com
It's not as good as mine but it's a start!
Oh, and what's happened to the comments? The good start has fizzled out and I'm feeling unloved. Big Mumma keep em coming, and I am washing my hands, don't you worry!
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